ABOUT BAD VEGAN - Part One

I last posted on this site over three years ago, following my release from Rikers Island. I wrote Notes From the Other Side primarily to say Thank You and to express a few things about my time away.

I’m writing this now mainly to address one issue about the Netflix documentary Bad Vegan (I’ll have more to say and clarify later). It’s standard practice—to say nothing of journalistic integrity—that subjects do not get paid for participation in documentaries, at least not the reputable ones. In my case, however, and at my insistence, the producers made an exception so that I could pay the total amount my former employees were owed—amounts that accrued after my disappearance in 2015. Of all the harm and the many debts resulting from my downfall, this portion weighed heaviest.

I think Bad Vegan conveys what anyone that knew me understood, which is that I was very close with so many of the employees over the years, and intentionally harming them is just about the last thing I’d have done. The good people who’d worked at the business back then were right to be devastated and angry. It was as if I’d abandoned them, which in effect I did. There was no actual gun to my head so it will be said that of course I had a choice. I get that. However, the response that I must be crazy and/or stupid is an easy, reductive one. I’m not stupid and I’m not crazy. I am humiliated and shamed by all the damage caused, but have been working to rebuild a strong foundation of self-reliance and self-awareness.

In exchange for the source materials and images I contributed to the documentary, the producers paid an attorney on my behalf who then, on the same day (which happened to be the day NYC restaurants were first shut down due to the pandemic in 2020) wired full payment directly to the attorney representing the employees. (While the funds bypassed me entirely, I did declare them for income tax purposes, just to be clear). The point is… beyond getting former employees repaid, I did not otherwise profit from Bad Vegan. Netflix and/or the producers can confirm this. Anyone who’s been the subject of a reputable documentary or who works in the industry could also confirm the standard practice of not paying subjects.

I was relieved once this payment went through, but that was just a small part of what remains outstanding. I want to be clear that I’ll keep working towards addressing it all—one way or another—eventually.

I also agreed to do this documentary because I hope people can learn something valuable from my story. As anyone who’s been through anything shitty knows, having your experience help others lessens the shittiness. I only finally saw Bad Vegan twelve days ago. The story is so weird and complicated, even to me, that it seemed inevitable that the documentary would get some things wrong, and I worried about this. I did not participate in how the story was told beyond my interviews and the source materials I contributed. I also worried about how my family would feel about it.

While early tabloids got the first word and a lot of that narrative has stuck, I didn’t “flee” in 2015 as those accounts stated, nor was I “on the lam,” at least not to my knowledge. I didn’t leave voluntarily. I didn’t know what funds Anthony had at the time, and I no longer had access to my electronic devices and email/text accounts. I can already hear the troll chorus of Yeah right! but most of what I say is verifiable. It also feels important to point out that of the money I’d raised at the end, over 90% went to re-open the restaurant and make payments. The idea that I would do all of that only to then run away with a man I hated and feared makes no sense. I didn’t want to marry him, and that part of the story was inaccurately condensed. Also, the ending of Bad Vegan is disturbingly misleading; I am not in touch with Anthony Strangis and I made those recordings at a much earlier time, deliberately, for a specific reason.

There’s a lot Bad Vegan gets right, but it’s hard not to get stuck on the things that aren’t right or leave an inaccurate impression. Later, I’d like to clear up more.

Finally, I can’t write any of this without also saying that my anxiety, worries, and whatever I endured feels beyond inconsequential in the context of current world events. Absurdly so. I have my dog, a place to live, work, food, my freedom, and relative safety—plus family and friends. While not a religious person, I’m praying along with so much of the world for relief, victory, and independence for the people of Ukraine.

More to come soon.

Sarma

March 16, 2022