On resolutions, specifically those related to eating.
ORIGINALLY POSTED IN 2013
How I feel about New Year’s resolutions is… don’t make them! Yay! What a relief!
I personally don’t like resolutions (or any rules or restrictions). I think many people have a tendency to rebel against anything that’s imposed on them (I do), even if we’re the ones doing the imposing. While a new year can be a perfect time to make a fresh start or new change, commanding yourself to do or not do something means you could be opening a door to the self-sabotage, if you’re one of those people that have that tendency to self-sabotage (I am). So, maybe try to reframe your priorities and motivations for whatever it is you want to do. For example, rather than fixating on finally losing that last ten pounds by going on a strict diet, try framing it as simply a shift to eating healthier. Instead of the goal being only about a number on a scale, think about your food choices in the larger context of the environment, conservation, supporting the right businesses, and animal welfare. If you buy only what you need, shop from a farmer’s market, buy organic and only products you feel good about supporting, your eating choices become part of something good, and larger than just yourself. Your goal of eating healthier is aligned with bigger goals you can feel good about, that have nothing to do with the number on your scale. Therefore, the likelihood of sabotaging yourself will be much less.
As someone that’s struggled with food issues most of my life, I can relate to the pressure around weight and eating. And, I’ve finally learned that the most destructive part of all is that pressure you put on yourself. The extra slice of cake you ate isn’t going to make much difference at all. The self-hating over it will. If you can find a way to remove the guilt and self-loathing factor, everything changes. I used to roll my eyes when I’d read in books that having positive thoughts about yourself and your body would magically make you slimmer. And that looking at food as beautiful healthy nourishment, rather than as an evil force that’s trying to make you fat, is what will allow you to eat what you want and not get fat. Basically, if you love yourself and love your food, you’ll effortlessly tend towards a naturally healthy weight. How amazing would that be?
I always thought it was all a load of donkey crap, and carried on with berating myself when I ate more than I felt I “should” have. Except turns out, it may not be crap after all. I’ve learned over time that it’s true (within reason). It’s not easy to learn to think and feel that way, but the more you do the easier it becomes. And the nice thing about living this way is, there’s no more falling off the wagon. Who wants to fall off a wagon? And who wants to spend their whole life on a wagon, anyway? What does that even mean? Fuck wagons.
Speaking of expressions, one of my least favorite is “getting back on track” … blah! Again, do you really want to live your life perfectly “on track” all the time? And then berate yourself if you go “off track”? It’s too rigid and doesn’t allow for much fun. If you step “off track” it implies you’ve messed up, and that there’s something wrong about what you’ve done that needs correcting. If you go “off track” then you’ve been… bad? Hell no. That kind of thinking feels counterproductive. If I hated on myself for eating a jar of almond butter while standing in front of the cupboard in a daze, what good does that do? If I then declare I’ll “get back on track” and never do it again, what’s going to happen? I’ve turned the situation into a struggle, and most likely it’ll happen again. This whole process of what we eat shouldn’t be a struggle, yet I know it is for so many people. Instead of hating on myself and freaking out over the calories in what I just ate, I’d be much better served by taking some time to think about what I was feeling in that moment that I was hoping the almond butter would snuff out. It’s good to reflect, and even better to write those feelings down, but leave the berating, guilt, and declarations to get “back on track” out of it. Just ease back into what’s better for you, and again, keep thinking about larger goals.
As newly elected Senator Cory Booker tweeted this morning, “Only loving your body when it is perfectly fit is like only loving your children when they are perfectly behaved.” #BeGentleOnYourself (how in-touch is Cory Booker? He’s vegetarian too!)
So, if anything, make a resolution to be kinder to yourself. And carry on.